put a checkmark where it hurts
i’d rather be .01 solution, lying open on the table; scalpel; crash cart; de-fib ;
than be a civil war. for brother fighting brother is for more bitter than lidocain.
i’d rather be the “call a code” echoing down the, echoing down the, echoing down the ;
than a gunshots booming burst blaring through me ;
i can’t stand the echos.
i’d rather take refuge in the IV drip holes beneath the ground ;
than take siege inside myself. do not cross the rebel lines they will strap you down.
i’d rather feel like i am fighting the goddam $56,796 in debt,
4 years pre-med, 8 years doctorate, 3 years specialty, 3 years resident ;
with a target on his scrubs.
than ride the day-in day-out weight check ; height check ;
put a check mark where it hurts ; can you describe the pain for me?
check off tachycardia.
i’d rather them check off tachycardia ;
than fight from both sides because i hurt from both goddam sides.
i’d rather repent the choir of angels singing in the key of rifles ;
than have an angiogram strapped to my back ;
a 12 gauge semi-automatic stethoscope like adam’s ;
as did eve i will not eat the damn apple ;
i am almost touching the atmosphere ; i am almost kissing god.
leave me to blocked ventricles; ruptured capillaries; torn arteries ;
BP is dropping and i am nearly touching the heavens.
let me touch heavenly bodies ;
there is a reason the insufficiency of bringing blood back to the heart is called venous ;
i wanna take base on the sun ; i wanna feel what god feels like ; i just want a fight to fight.
tell me i'm not a soldier but a conductor in the civil war that's home inside me ;
i’d rather not win.
i’d rather not hear the echos of defeat ;
for when half of me is alone, it will halve in half to keep itself company only to fight again ;
only to respond to “where does it hurt” twice ;
an answer from each army.
i hope to god this civil war won't be drowned out by a perscription of honey and lidocaine ;
for the sickeningly sweet sorrow of honey and lidocaine is none the less sweet ;
and none the less bitter.
i’d rather take the echos.
i’d rather be .01 solution, lying open on the table; scalpel; crash cart; de-fib ;
than be a civil war. for brother fighting brother is for more bitter than lidocain.
i’d rather be the “call a code” echoing down the, echoing down the, echoing down the ;
than a gunshots booming burst blaring through me ;
i can’t stand the echos.
i’d rather take refuge in the IV drip holes beneath the ground ;
than take siege inside myself. do not cross the rebel lines they will strap you down.
i’d rather feel like i am fighting the goddam $56,796 in debt,
4 years pre-med, 8 years doctorate, 3 years specialty, 3 years resident ;
with a target on his scrubs.
than ride the day-in day-out weight check ; height check ;
put a check mark where it hurts ; can you describe the pain for me?
check off tachycardia.
i’d rather them check off tachycardia ;
than fight from both sides because i hurt from both goddam sides.
i’d rather repent the choir of angels singing in the key of rifles ;
than have an angiogram strapped to my back ;
a 12 gauge semi-automatic stethoscope like adam’s ;
as did eve i will not eat the damn apple ;
i am almost touching the atmosphere ; i am almost kissing god.
leave me to blocked ventricles; ruptured capillaries; torn arteries ;
BP is dropping and i am nearly touching the heavens.
let me touch heavenly bodies ;
there is a reason the insufficiency of bringing blood back to the heart is called venous ;
i wanna take base on the sun ; i wanna feel what god feels like ; i just want a fight to fight.
tell me i'm not a soldier but a conductor in the civil war that's home inside me ;
i’d rather not win.
i’d rather not hear the echos of defeat ;
for when half of me is alone, it will halve in half to keep itself company only to fight again ;
only to respond to “where does it hurt” twice ;
an answer from each army.
i hope to god this civil war won't be drowned out by a perscription of honey and lidocaine ;
for the sickeningly sweet sorrow of honey and lidocaine is none the less sweet ;
and none the less bitter.
i’d rather take the echos.